Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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