there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
