The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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