Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
