why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
