I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
