those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
