You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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