I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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