I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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