there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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