I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
