They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
