i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
