hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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