You smell like stripper and shame
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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