The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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