Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Randomize
