My liver just broke up with me...
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
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