i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
you never un-have a 4some
Randomize
