The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
