How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I need to stop coming to work sober
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I wish there were birth control emojis
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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