Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
