We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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