Your face is a jimmy john
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
