Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
