You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
