Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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