how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
