i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
