Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Randomize
