I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
