I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
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