the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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