:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
