Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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