Welp...herpes.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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