Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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