Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
