please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Randomize
