I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
