He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize
