I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
