Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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