He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
