More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
