Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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