I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
