What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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