anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
