are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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