help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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