On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
