he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
