Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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