When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
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I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
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I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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