a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
