I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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