half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
