then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Randomize
