My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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